


The World is Ugly

by alexmustdie, RoseRedBookworm (Schellenpanda)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: ABSOLUTELY GURUNTEED HAPPY ENDING, Depression, Dreads!Frank, Eating Disorder, Eventual Smut, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Gay Smut, M/M, Revenge!Gee, bullets!frank, homeless!frank, more tags may be added, skinny!Gee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2018-09-26 13:02:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9898208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexmustdie/pseuds/alexmustdie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schellenpanda/pseuds/RoseRedBookworm
Summary: That's usually what happened. He would look at the world, look at his memories, and write without even knowing it. And he filled every word  with his emotions, almost pouring out by itself.•Or the fic where Frank is homeless and Gerard is depressed•





	1. Chapter 1

|

Frank shivered, drawing his battered jacket closer together. The weather was slowly growing colder and colder, and if he didn't keep moving, he'd freeze. Of course it would have to be a bad winter this year, of all years. 

 

He walked on, staring at his feet as he went, only occasionally looking up so he didn't run into something. He made a mental note while walking- he needed new shoes again. The ripped converse he was wearing were not going to last the winter. He wasn't even sure how he was going to either. 

 

He stopped at the park bench, sitting down, and picking up his nap sack. Just like everything else, it was worn and battered, the items inside almost falling through. He dug around, looking, seeing if had any money left that he had found on the sidewalk. 

 

He finally landed his hand on a very thin wad of bills, pulling them out and counting. He felt as though he was counting the price for the devil himself. Paying him for temporary satisfaction, only to have something else taken away. 

 

He finally sighed, shoving the few bills back, which had a couple of other things he had scavenged, into the bag. He didn't have enough to buy more clothes or shoes. He was going to have to somehow survive the cold, which was only just beginning. 

 

He stood up once more, walking towards the trees of the park, looking for the spot he always stayed in. It was in between the thick line of the trees, and a berry bush, which protected him from being seen by other people. 

 

Not that other people would be out in this season. Not unless they had no warm home to stay in, like himself. But other homeless people, despite their innocent pleading eyes, couldn't be trusted. Desperation brought on terrible traits for some people. Violence and thievery. Frank had multiple occasions where another homeless would take what they want from his bag, after beating the shit out of him, and running. 

 

So Frank found his secret spot, that way none of them could find him while he was sleeping. Not only that, but the thick tree didn't let any snow through. More warmth for Frank. 

 

He laid his bag down, joining it on the ground. He pulled his shredded sleeping bag on himself, which no longer really stored much heat, and opened his bag again. 

 

He dragged out the small notebook he had found in the trash, along with a graphite pencil, the yellow paint chipping off the edges. 

 

Yes, Frank did occasionally have those certain days where he would strike lucky. He would find a couple of dollars, or an old notebook. One time he even found an old coat, which was what he had needed the most. 

 

He pulled that same coat closer to himself as he opened the notebook, brushing the eraser marks that had been left on the page. One of the lucky aspects of this day was no snow. 

 

He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the trees groaning, and listening to the wind snap through them. When he opened his eyes, however, he was no longer in the park. He was home. 

 

His mom was pulling out her vegetarian lasagna, that Frank had loved the most out of all of her meals. His father was sitting on the couch with him, going over the D chord on the guitar. He was six years old again. 

 

Frank watched as his younger self pluck the strings, immediately wincing as the note buzzed through the guitar. His father smiled at him lovingly. 

 

"That's okay Frank, you'll get it. Here, just move that finger over one more fret. There you go! That's it!" He encouraged, smiling as Frank got the chord right. 

 

The younger Frank beamed back and strummed the note again. 

 

Frank blinked again, and he wasn't six anymore, he was 13. He was quickly moving his fingers from note to note, but there was nobody there to commend him. Nobody to care that he had become an excellent guitarist. 

 

His mother and father were already dead in this memory. Killed in a car crash, leaving no survivors on either side. Apparently the other driver, someone named Donald Way, and his parents' car collided during a small earthquake. The earthquake knocked both cars off the bridge. All dead. No survivors. 

 

But there the 13 year old Frank was. Sitting in an empty, cold room, with only the silence around him to listen to him play. And play he did, almost as if he stopped then he would have time to think; to feel. 

 

But it wouldn't have mattered that Frank would've played till all the strings snapped one by one. Because the police walked back into the room, giving him the news. He wouldn't be going to his Grandma's. She didn't want him. He had to go to the orphanage. 

 

Frank blinked again. It was now 17 year old Frank, and he was far from home. He was constantly surrounded by gray, plain walls lined in white. No other colors besides the children's clothes there were seen. And even then, children were rarely allowed wearing colors. Colors brought hope. There was none in the hellish building. 

 

He blinked again, now seeing the younger him running. Running as fast as his abnormally short legs would carry him. As fast as his breath, which was short due to lack of food, would let him. 

 

And then Frank was back to his present time, his mind sharply snapping him back to reality. 

 

Frank Iero. Twenty-three years old. Homeless. Hopeless. Alone. 

 

He looked up, seeing that he had been daydreaming his memories for quite some while. It was dark outside now, and the temperature was dropping slowly. He came to a realization that the more he seemed to lose hope, the more he daydreamed. Almost as if an alternate reality of memories is the only way he could stand to feel at all. 

 

He put the notebook back, which was now filled with lyrics. That's usually what happened. He would look at the world, look at his memories, and write without even knowing it. And he filled every word with his emotions, almost pouring out by itself. 

 

He wrapped the sleeping bag around himself, trying to reserve what warmth he could. He slowly drifted off, feeling his body falling asleep, but his mind continuing to work. Taking him, once again, away from this world. 

 

~•~

 

"What about you Gee, how are you doing?" Gerard's brother asked into the phone, a soft tone lacing his words. 

 

Gerard hesitated, biting his lip. 

 

"You know me Mikes, I'm always fine," he replied, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice. Mikey gave an unconvincing silence through the phone. 

 

"Alright, just let me know if you need anything, okay?" He replied, thankfully not pressing Gerard for the answer he knew to be true. 

 

"Alright catch you later," he replied, waiting for the responded farewell, before hanging up. 

 

He sighed, sinking into his couch. He really was okay if he pretended. 

 

"Fake it till you make it," was what his father always told him. Then he died. Gerard didn't see the benefits of taking advice from a dead man, but he did regardless. 

 

He was never really super close to his father. They never got along, and he never supported Gerard in any of his decisions. Especially regarding his sexuality. But he still felt something. The emptiness of what could have been a father. 

 

Someone to comfort him after the death of his grandmother, Elena. Someone to stand by his mother when she was admitted into a mental institution last year for being insane. And somebody to give a damn about how he felt inside. The crippling thoughts that never ceased to haunt him. 

 

For one thing, Gerard knew he was ugly. He wasn't fat per say, he was just chubby. But that's not what bothered him. It was just how worthless he felt. How alone. 

 

Sure, he did have his younger brother, Mikey. But it was his younger brother, and he was supposed to be the one taking care of him. Granted, Mikey did have depression, but it was no where near as severe as Gerard's. 

 

The only thing Gerard assumed significant enough to mention was how he survived college, and has a successful job so far. 

 

But there Mikey was, younger than him, and married with a successful job in the music industry. Most of the time he got spots in newly starting bands for drummers or guitarists. 

 

But there Gerard was, going to college for a couple of measly years (which had been spent listening to people call him fat ass), only to work for Cartoon Network. His own brother was doing better than him. 

 

Not to mention Gerard's history with alcohol. He had gone way too far with that, and cleaned himself up. But it wasn't for himself, it was for his brother. If his brother wasn't there, he'd probably be dead on the side of the road. Not to mention, when you become an alcoholic, your mind completely changes wether you stop or not. 

 

Feeling tired of having a self-pity party, he decided to just suck it up like he always did. Thinking like this for too long could make him turn to bad options. 

 

So despite everything in his head telling him to go to bed, he pulled on his jacket and grabbed his keys. He was supposed to have dinner with Mikey tonight; his wife was away on business. 

 

He thought for a moment, before putting his keys back in the bin. It was dark already, (no people outside) so he thought he might as well walk. 

 

He pulled on another jacket, after checking the weather, and stepped outside, making his way to the diner.


	2. Chapter 2

||

Gerard walked into the diner, glancing up from his hoodie to look for his younger brother. Seeing him in the corner booth, he walked over sitting across from him, and pulling the hood off of his head. 

 

"Hey Mikes," he said out of habit, picking at the menu in front of him. 

 

"You're lucky I know that hoodie, or I would've thought you were a rapist out to get me," he replied, chuckling at the end. Gerard couldn't help but reply with a laugh. 

 

If there was one person that could get away with making fun of Gerard, it was Mikey. Well...and the rest of the world, because he'd have an anxiety attack just from looking at someone. 

 

They both ordered, Mikey getting a burger, and Gerard just getting a salad. 

 

"Dude, I can't believe you just went vegetarian last month. I need my meat, I'd probably be dead already if I were you," he said in all seriousness, and took a giant bite of his food. Gerard almost laughed with how wide he had to stretch his mouth. 

 

"Well I could lose some weight anyways..." Gerard mumbled, swallowing the chewed up lettuce. 

 

"Gee...you've already lost quite a bit of weight. You don't need to lose anymore," Mikey said, not understanding one bit how he thought he was fat. He had lost so much weight already, and the contrast of his black hair and pale skin made him look even more thin. 

 

Gerard kept silent. 

 

"So how's Ray doing?" Gerard asked, changing the topic. In all honesty he was curious. 

 

Ray had been trying to get a job as a guitarist in a band, and Mikey, being the good friend, got him a spot. And Gerard only had to hear Ray play one time to know he was a wizard. 

 

"He's doing fucking awesome, man. The crowd loved their first concert. I think they're gonna grow fast," he replied, his eyes lighting up. 

 

He always got excited whenever he talked about his job. He loved getting spots for people to be in a band, because he was helping them follow their dreams, no matter how cliché it sounded. And this time he got to help his best friend. Gerard doesn't help anybody. 

 

"That's great Mikes," Gerard smiled, patting his younger brother on the shoulder before swallowing the last of his food. 

 

"Not only that, but I heard he met someone," Mikey added, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. 

 

"Oh? Whose the lucky fellow?" Gerard chuckled lightly, pushing his plate away. 

 

"Ignoring the fact that you just said fellow...I mean how old are you?" He laughed before he continued. 

"His name's Bob, and apparently he was in high school with us, but I don't remember him." 

 

Gerard tried to think back to high school without thinking about the scaring memories. 

 

"I think I remember. He was that really big guy who shoved a jock's head down the toilet for calling him emo slut," Gerard chuckled. 

 

Mikey thought for a moment before he remembered, and joined in the laughter. 

 

Gerard pulled out his phone, looking at the time. 

 

"Hey, I'm gonna go. I have to be at work tomorrow," Gerard groaned, not wanting to think too much about waking up early. 

 

"Alright Gee, let me know if you need anything. Love you man," Mikey said giving his elder brother a side hug, who returned it, along with the goodbye. 

 

Gerard walked out of the diner, Mikey staying to meet someone for work. He took a deep breathe, grateful to not have to fake his happiness anymore. 

 

It wasn't that Mikey didn't make him happy. God, Mikey was probably the only reason that Gerard was alive at the moment. But he couldn't help being taunted with dark thoughts, which never ceased to come to him. 

 

Usually he did fairly well during the day. In fact, sometimes he really is happy with Mikey. But when it's night, he has more time to think. More time to feel. 

 

And you would think sleep would be a pleasant escape for him, but it was quite the contrary. Sleep opened the door to the nightmares, which were worse than when he was awake. 

 

He sighed, deciding to take a detour to the park before going home. He realized it probably wasn't the best idea, due to the unnaturally cold temperature, but he didn't care. He had to walk some of this off. 

 

He gave a last moment of pondering before starting his walk to the park. 

~•~

 

16 year old Frank sat, his head in his hands, and tears running down his arms. The eyeliner he had taken from one of the other foster girls ran down his face with the tears.

 

He had always wanted to see what he looked like with eyeliner on; he was just curious. He didn't know that there'd be anything wrong with it. 

 

He had walked out with it on in front of the other kids, actually feeling pretty proud of himself. He thought that he looked really good. He had actually felt good about himself, something he hadn't felt in a long time. 

 

Right when he walked out, however, the kids all started pointing and laughing. Frank didn't understand at all what was funny. Did he forget to put pants on?

 

"Look at that emo faggot!" A bunch of kids yelled at him, laughing with tears in their eyes. 

 

Emo? What did that mean? Frank had never been called that before. But he definitely knew what faggot meant. That was not the first time he had been called that. 

 

Not too long after that the foster care lady came in, wondering what the commotion was all about. She immediately saw Frank with the eyeliner on, and her face grew angry. 

 

"Go take that off of your face right now!" She screamed at him, slapping him across the face. 

 

"W-why? What's wrong with it?" Frank asked, not understanding what he was doing wrong. 

 

That earned him another slap. 

 

"Don't ask questions and do it, you worthless freak!" She screamed. 

 

Frank immediately ran to his dorm, tears streaming down his face. 

 

He had been sitting crying for hours until he finally calmed down. 

 

Frank jumped awake, immediately sensing a feeling of insecurity. Something didn't feel right. It took him a few moments for his ears to work, immediately hearing the sound of rummaging. His bag. 

 

He jumped up, looking over to his bag, hoping that it was just some stray cat looking for warmth. He had no such luck. 

 

There was a dark figure looting through his bag, taking whatever he thought was useful. 

 

"Hey, stop! That's my stuff!" Frank yelled, running over, trying to grab his bag. 

 

"Get the hell away if you know what's good for you," the figure, said pushing Frank back, and stepping forward. 

 

Frank could now see it was a scraggly man, obviously another homeless. Frank got up again, trying to reach for his bag. 

 

The man yanked his arm back, throwing a punch that landed right on Frank's jaw line. The sound of his cold skin breaking ran through the air. 

 

It took a minute to comprehend what had just happened, before he realized the man was coming back for more, knocking Frank to the ground. Frank tried to yell out, tell him to stop, even surrender the bag. He found that he couldn't. He didn't have any capability to talk, because the man had begun kicking him over and over relentlessly. 

 

Frank felt himself slipping. He felt his ribs cracking, and he didn't know how much longer he could stay conscience. The man, however, stopped his assault, grabbing the bag and running. He had no intention to hurt Frank in the first place, but he was desperate enough for the bag to beat it out of Frank. 

 

Frank lay there, blood pouring out of his nose, and the only thing working correctly was his mind. Even that was a little foggy, due to the fact he wouldn't be able to remain conscious. 

 

He flipped on his stomach, dragging his lank body through the snow. He wouldn't be able to stay in his spot anymore. It wasn't safe. 

 

So despite the wet cold seeping through his raggedy hoodie, he dragged his body with as much effort as he could muster. He dragged and dragged for what seemed like hours. 

 

He finally made it to the park bench, crawling on top of it, laying his body out. He breathed heavily, his chest rising and falling, emphasizing the fact that his rib cage was probably broken. Even his dread locks were matted with blood, which was pouring out his nose and lip. 

 

He took a couple more breathes, his vision getting more and more hazy, until at last, he felt himself slip from consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking about doing a one-shot on the side...any ideas on a prompt? Btw, sorry this chapter is kind of short, school's been rough. -xoBullet


	3. Chapter 3

|||

Gerard slowly trudged towards the park, almost to his favorite bench. 

 

He came here a lot, despite not liking to be in public. Whenever he would come at night, nobody would be around, and he could just sit and breathe in the night air. He always found somewhat of peacefulness there. 

 

He eventually came to the park entrance, heading towards the usual spot. He walked with his head down, as he usually did. When you look up, people talk to you. He always looked down. 

 

He finally realized it was snowing, and was about to groan. Except when he heard the groan- it wasn't his own. 

 

He immediately jerked his head up, wondering if he wasn't alone after all. If that was the case, he'd just turn around and walk home. 

 

What he saw, however, made him instantly run over to the park bench. If it weren't for the park light, he would've never seen the man with the broken body laying on the bench. 

 

"Jesus Christ, are you alright?!" Gerard breathed, crouching beside the lump of bloody flesh. The man only groaned in response. Gerard reached to grab the man's face.

 

"P-please no! Please don't hurt me anymore! Take what you want!" Frank shrieked, attempting to sit up, but of course failing due to his broken ribs. 

 

"Hey no, it's okay! I'm not going to hurt you. My god, there's nothing left to hurt," Gerard said scanning the man's body.

 

Not only was it beaten to a pulp, but the man clearly was skeletal. His ribs were poking through his skin, and the others clearly broken. It didn't take a genius to figure out the man was homeless. 

 

Unlike others though, this man wasn't old. In fact, he looked younger than Gerard. And to think that someone that young could be homeless made Gerard even more depressed. 

 

He might not even look that bad if he didn't have to deal with his dreads and his skeletal body. He didn't look like he weighed any more than 85 pounds. 

 

Meanwhile, all Frank could do was stare back, pupils dilated in curiosity and fear. 

 

"Hey, listen you need help. It'll be alright, I'm going to take you to the hospital," Gerard replied, reaching his hand out. 

 

Frank jumped on first reaction, fearing that he was going to hurt him. But when he looked into the dark haired man's pity filled eyes, he saw something different. 

 

Granted, this man obviously wasn't homeless. But the way he looked at Frank, reflected just as much sadness on his part as there was on Frank's. 

 

Everybody else thinks that life is a la-tee-da fairy land, where nothing goes wrong. Frank knew that this man had tasted some of reality, and it destroyed part of his mind. As it did to Frank. 

 

So Frank came to the conclusion that he wanted to trust this man. Not that he had a choice regardless...his body was sort of broken. 

 

He finally nodded, grabbing the other's hand. 

 

Gerard gently tried pulling the broken man up, but he immediately shrieked in pain, sitting back down. 

 

"S-sorry!" Gerard stuttered, feeling responsible for the sudden pain. 

 

Frank waved it off, panting from the pain radiating in his body. 

 

"Listen, there's no way you're gonna be able to walk...is it okay if I carry you?" Gerard asked, finding his voice growing nervous. He never let anybody touch him, and he never touched anybody (besides his brother). 

 

He knew, though, that if he didn't do this that the man would die. 

 

"O-okay I guess..." Frank replied, holding out his arms shakily. 

 

Gerard carefully picked him up bridal style, making sure not to squeeze his body too tight. He silently gasped at how light this man was. It felt as though he hadn't eaten in years. 

 

Gerard desperately tried to ignore the odor coming from the man as he walked. The sharp smell of dirt, body odor, and blood radiated from his body. It wasn't his fault, though, and he knew that. 

 

Homeless people don't have a place to take showers and change clothes. They don't have people to take care of them. 

 

"Why are you helping me?" Frank groaned between gasps. His condition was rapidly growing worse. 

 

"Everybody needs help sometimes," Gerard replied in a whisper. 

 

The more he thought about it, the more he did want to help. He never helped anyone. He only destroyed himself, and nobody ever even wanted to be around him. This time maybe he could actually be useful to somebody. 

 

"Im Frank," He breathed, feeling himself slip further and further from consciousness. 

 

Meanwhile Gerard was already in his own driveway, opening his car door to put Frank in the backseat. 

 

"I'm Gerard," Gerard replied, gently laying Frank down on the seat. He opened the glove compartment, pulling out a small blanket, and laid it across of Frank's small, frail body. 

 

"Everything's going to be okay, Frank. I promise," Gerard said, feeling a tremendous amount of pity inside him. 

 

Gerard would have never imagined letting a random stranger in his car. He was surprised he would do any of this. But something inside him told him he needed to. Not just for the man, but for himself. 

 

"T-Thank you," Frank whispered, finally slipping from consciousness. 

 

Gerard smiled at the thanks, finally feeling somewhat important for once. He quickly got in the front seat and buckled his belt. 

 

Pulling out of the driveway, he began the drive to the hospital. What he would do after Frank recovered he didn't know. There was no way he could let him go back out again.

 

But then again, he didn't even know Frank. It's just something about him seems so unusual to Gerard. He wasn't very appealing, having the dreads, and the dirty face/body. Yet, the man himself seemed so pained, yet so kind. 

 

Gerard didn't know what he was going to do, but he did know he was going to help him. 

~•~

Frank stirred from his sleep, feeling a sense of discomfort. After a few times of struggling, he opened his eyes. 

 

When he finally looked up, he saw the reason he felt so uncomfortable. There were tubes going inside of his wrist and arm, pumping the clear liquid through his veins. Not only that, but his ribs were sore as hell. He had a complete bandage around his waist and torso, and could tell that he still had dried blood and dirt on his body. 

 

Deciding he didn't want to see anymore of his weak condition, he looked up, confused as to how he got here. He couldn't seem to remember anything after getting beat. 

 

When he looked up, he almost jumped when he saw a pale man with dark hair, asleep in the chair beside the bed. Then he remembered. 

 

Gerard. 

 

That was his name. Frank remembered Gerard carrying him, when he didn't even know who he was, and taking him to the hospital. He remembered the look in Gerard's eyes, and trusting him with his life. Someone he didn't even know. For all he knew, Gerard could've been a rapist. 

 

He moved the dreads out of his eyes, and really took a moment to look at him. His black hair contrasting with his pale skin. His cute little button nose, and a slightly accented jawline. Frank could tell that he was thin. Of course, not as thin as him, but still more thin than he should be. 

 

Sometime during taking in all of this interesting man's features, Gerard's eyes fluttered open, and Frank finally found his favorite part of Gerard. His eyes. 

 

This man was beautiful. 

 

Frank quickly averted his eyes, feeling his face heat up. Way to go Frank. Have a guy save you, and then stare at him like a fucking creep. 

 

"Hey, how you feeling?" Gerard quietly asked, feeling his own cheeks heat up from the experience. When he thought about it, he didn't know why he was blushing. Frank wasn't much to look at. He had dreads, a dirt covered body, and was literally a walking skeleton. 

 

Not that he went for looks. He actually went more for personality, which still didn't make sense because he didn't know Frank. What he did know was that he was shy, kind, and considerate. He liked what he knew. 

 

"I-I guess I'm alright. I guess I better leave now though...I don't have any money to pay for this," Frank mumbled, guiltily. He'd have to find some other way to survive on his own. 

 

"Don't worry about it, I'll pay," Gerard replied, trying his best to talk in a reassuring tone. 

 

"B-but, I don't want to use your money. I-it wouldn't matter anyways...I have nowhere to go after this," Frank spoke, trying his best to not tear up. He would have to go on his own again, and he knew it. 

 

"Listen, Frank. I know I don't know you, but there's no way I'm going to let you go back out there. It's winter, and nobody deserves to stay out in that. Plus, I think I trust you enough to stay with me," Gerard smiled, trying to reassure Frank. 

 

Frank nodded. 

 

"G-god, I'm tired of smelling myself," Frank complained after a while of silence, scrunching up his nose. Gerard gave a small laugh at the sight. 

 

"U-um actually, um, the doctors wanted someone close to you, help you get a shower..." Gerard rambled nervously. 

 

Oh. Gerard was the only one who could do the job. 

 

"I-um well. Alright uh," Frank stuttered, embarrassed from the situation. 

 

Gerard silently came over, gently removing the IVs from Frank's wrist, and holding his hand out, once again like last night. Frank would have to decide whether or not to trust Gerard. He looked up into the man's eyes once again. 

 

That was all it took for Frank to grab his hand, trusting him once again. 

 

Here we go then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to whoever is reading this. I know I'm not as experienced, and appreciate that you like this fic so far. Sorry, this chapter didn't turn out that great. Enjoy anyway! -xoBullet


	4. Sorry

I'm sorry to say that I won't be posting this week. My grandma has severe diabetes, and probably won't live much longer. I will be visiting her hospital, and will not have access to my phone. Thank you so much for all of your kind comments so far, and thanks for the support. I'll try and post early next week. -xoBullet <3

Okay, so as you know, I've been going through somewhat of a rough time. My grandma isn't doing well and school is hard right now. If anybody would be interested in sharing this fic with me that would be great, but we'd have to both agree where the fic will go, and what happens. Also, it would be a shared effort. I'd also need someway besides text to contact you due to my family, so there'd have to be a website to talk on. I don't want this fic to die so soon...I think I myself need it to keep my mind off of things. Comment below if you're interested please -xoBullet

Okay, so I am now sharing this fic with my newly found friend Schellenpanda. I am finishing up the next chapter, which features one of her own song in it, and we are working hard to give each other ideas on what to do next. Stay tuned for more! -xoBullet


	5. Chapter 4

||||

Frank shivered as the cold air hit his chest, wishing nothing more than to shrivel up and die.

 

He had lived all of those years by himself. He had been beaten, stolen from, frozen, burned, and many other things. And out of all of the things he had learned...he still doesn't know how to react to people. Especially beautiful people with beautiful eyes.

 

He didn't want Gerard to see him. He didn't want him too see his well defined ribs, which made him look more like a skeleton, rather than a person. He didn't want him to see his deathly looking hips, attached to his unsightly legs.

 

Gerard was beautiful in everything he did. The way he had carefully taken off Frank's shirt, almost as if Frank would break underneath his fingertips. The way his eyes held understanding when Frank tried to cover up himself. The way his dark coal hair smoothed beautifully over his face when he looked down. He was beautiful. Frank wished he was beautiful.

 

It turned out that Gerard didn't actually need to physically get into the shower with him. Frank actually felt a sense of relief, not wanting to see the comparison of Gerard's no doubt beautiful body compared to his own.

 

Frank wasn't even sure if Gerard was specifically more beautiful compared to others. It could just be his mind drinking in the sight of a normal person after so long without seeing one. Frank, however, didn't see Gerard as normal. Something about him was different than any of the other "normal" people he had met.

 

The more Frank thought about it, he couldn't deny the fact that Gerard was just beautiful. Wether it was his mind or not, this man was Frank's version of beauty, and so far his personality was equally as great.

 

"W-wait. Please wait," Frank gasped, grabbing Gerard's hand before he could unbutton Frank's pants. He didn't even want Gerard to see what he was showing now. There was no way he was going to let him see the main thing he didn't want him to see.

 

Gerard paused, looking at Frank with sympathetic eyes. He understood the situation of not wanting someone to see his body all too well. Of course, his was under different circumstances, but the feelings that tied in with the situation were the same.

 

"Frank. I won't judge you by what I see. You couldn't help anything that happened to you out there. You aren't the person that I see on the outside. Trust me..." Gerard replied softly, placing a comforting hand on Frank's shoulder.

 

Frank tensed up at the contact, not used to the foreign feeling. Frank had just realized how long it had been since he had felt physical contact with someone. Not without being beaten to a pulp anyway.

 

"C-can I just at least rap a towel around my waist? I-I'm sorry, I'm just not ready for anyone to see my full body," Frank mumbled apologetically.

 

"You don't have to apologize, it's okay. Do anything that will make you more comfortable," Gerard whispered, offering an encouraging smile.

 

Gerard leaned over to the counter, picking up the blue hospital towel, carefully wrapping it around Frank's tiny waste.

 

"Are you able to pull down your pants by yourself, underneath the towel, or do I need to help?" Gerard asked, an uncertainty in his eyes. He didn't want to do anything which would make Frank feel overly uncomfortable, but he couldn't see Frank's frail, broken body doing anything by himself.

 

Frank gulped. He knew fully well that he couldn't do that by himself. He could barely stand as it was, let alone yank his pants down. Then again, he thought it was better to try. There was no way that he was going to let Gerard see. Of all the things he had trusted him with, he just couldn't do this.

 

It's not even his size that he's completely worried with. Everybody obviously knows that unless you're really lucky, you're going to be thin. Frank, however, wasn't just another homeless person.

 

Most homeless people are homeless because of their own doing. The usual reason was drugs, which Frank never understood. They had a perfect chance to have a good life, and they fucked their whole life up for the sake of some pills.

 

Frank, however, didn't have a choice. He wasn't able to choose if his parents lived or not. He wasn't able to choose if his Grandma wanted him or not. He didn't choose his loneliness. To Frank, staying in the orphanage wasn't a choice. It was slowly breaking him, piece by piece.

 

Lately though, the choices beyond his control weren't as horrendous as they had been. He felt something changing.

 

He couldn't control that Gerard saved him. He couldn't control Gerard letting him live with him, despite Frank being a stranger. He couldn't control Gerard caring.

 

"C-can you just help me sit down? I-I can pull them down most of the way I think." Frank mumbled, accepting Gerard's arm as he offered it. He held on for dear life, trying not to cringe as his sore body bent to sit down.

 

He carefully trailed his calloused fingertips up the towel, careful not to pull the towel up with his hands. Eventually, though, his bony fingers managed to get the ripped jeans down to his knees. He shivered as he felt the cold air hit his legs.

 

Gerard walked over, taking his pants off the rest of the way. Frank was too embarrassed to say that he didn't have underwear. You can't really afford to have any underclothes, when you can barely get clothes as it is.

 

Frank was now completely naked, save for the towel wrapped around his hip, which jutted out due to lack of food. Gerard didn't say anything, and he didn't need to. It was somewhat of a silent understanding.

 

Gerard leaned over, turning on the water to the bathtub, and letting warm water fill it up. He figured it would be easier to help wash Frank that way, seeing as though he could barely stand up.

 

Once it was full, he carefully lifted Frank's frail body, and put in into the tub, trying to ignore the tension that filled the air. Gerard could almost gag on it.

 

Frank shivered, despite the water being warm. He didn't know what to do with himself. Instead of overthinking, he just laid his body back, actually relaxing a bit. It had been years since he actually had a clean body.

 

"Is it okay if I start?" Gerard asked, washcloth in hand, and awkwardness in his eyes. He offered a shy smile.

 

Frank nodded, after he had gazed into the older man's trusting eyes. He knew Gerard wouldn't try anything. He helped so much already.

 

Gerard dragged the soapy rag gently along Frank's neck, careful not to press down too hard. He made small, gentle strokes, removing the dirt and blood that was caked on his body.

 

Frank found the gentle motions reassuring. He even clothed his eyes from how relaxing it felt. But then Frank heard something coming from the other man, and immediately realized he was singing to himself.

 

Gerard did that a lot. He would lose himself in concentration, and sing an old song that his grandmother would sing to him before she died. And that was exactly what he was singing now, as he softly dragged the rag across Frank's torso. Frank opened his eyes, gazing at the man as he moved his lips softly to the song.

 

"It gets worse. I can not sleep. These thoughts invading my mind.Thoughts of cancer, fights and crimes. And I worry ‘bout my life."

 

Frank blinked his eyes, and he was no longer looking at Gerard. He was home again.

 

Nine year old Frank was sitting up in his bed, crying from a nightmare he had had in the middle of the night. Frank had often received many nightmares growing up. It got so bad that he even had to go to therapy on some days.

 

He would cry and cry, not being able to get the depressing images out of his head. But his crying would never last long. And deep inside, he always knew that. He always knew that his mother would eventually come, as she did every time.

 

"Frankie, what's wrong, baby?" His mother spoke softly, walking into his bedroom door, and seeing the sobbing Frank.

 

"I-It was so terrible momma. Everybody died. They all died and I couldn't do anything," Frank sobbed, letting the tears run down his face.

 

His mother wrapped her arms around him, laying his head on her shoulder.

 

"Shh...it's okay. It was just a dream. We're still here, and we always will be. Always," his mother spoke, stroking his hair. Frank believed every word that she said.

 

"C-can you sing for me?" Frank stuttered, looking into his mother's kind eyes. Her singing always helped him. Something about the melodic sound, and the lyrics aided him in his mind.

 

"Of course honey. Here, lay back," she replied, laying down beside him. She always grabbed his hand before she sang, a ritual that Frank had grown to love as soon as it started. He closed his eyes as her comforting voice rung through the room.

 

"It gets worse. I can not sleep. These thoughts invading my mind.Thoughts of cancer, fights and crimes. And I worry ‘bout my life."

 

Frank's breathing finally slowed as the words hit his ears, listening to the intoxicating melody, and feeling his mother's hand stroke through his hair.

 

"But when I feel crushed and when I feel down.There are always these people who won’t let me drown."

 

Frank could feel himself starting to drift off, the lyrics becoming hazy. But he always loved the last part. His mother would let her voice get quieter and quieter with the words, and end it by kissing his forehead, and usually by then, he was asleep and full of hope.

 

"It gets better. I slowly fall asleep. These thoughts invading my mind.Thoughts of love, friendship and smiles."

 

Frank blinked, and now Gerard was in front of him, the man sliding the rag up and down his body, and his mouth finishing the last part of the song.

 

"And I carry on because of what matters in life."

 

Frank blinked, tears immediately escaping his eyes as he thought about the distant memory. The memory he didn't even know his mind still contained. The memory that had brought him hope for so many years, and that Gerard had brought back to him.

 

Gerard glanced at Frank's face, immediately spotting the salty tears that littered his cheeks.

 

"Frank?" Gerard looked at him with a frightened expression. He couldn't tell if the shorter man was in pain, or what was wrong with him. Had he done something wrong?

 

"T-that song. W-where did you learn it from?" Frank whispered, the cold tears continuing their decent down his cheek.

 

"My grandmother used to sing it to me...before she died," Gerard replied, smiling at the memory. The smile quickly faded though. She was dead. She wasn't coming back anyways. No matter how much he tried not to think about her, the lyrics to the song always found their way out. He eventually just let them.

 

"I can stop singing if it makes you upset..." Gerard mumbled, his dark hair covering over his eyes as he continued cleaning Frank's body.

 

"N-no...please don't stop. M-my mother used to sing it to me. A long time ago...I-It helps me to not give up hope." Frank explained, wiping the tears off of his face. "Thank you," he whispered, looking into Gerard's hazel eyes, which held so much emotion in that moment.

 

Gerard smiled back down, feeling something stirring in his chest. Something that he had not felt in a long time. It was such a quick flash of the emotion, but it was there for a moment, and he had felt it. Happiness.

 

Happy that he had actually helped someone. That a person actually appreciated Gerard. That Gerard was actually needed for once.

 

"Anytime," Gerard replied, sitting back and putting the tag in the sink. He really wanted to keep singing for Frank, but now he just felt somewhat awkward. This had been the first time in a while he actually had a conversation with someone. He didn't know how to do it anymore.

 

He got out a fresh rag, and looked down at Frank. He had successfully scrubbed the rest of his body, all except his face, which was caked with dry blood and grime.

 

"You might wanna, um, close your eyes," Gerard whispered, pulling Frank's horrid dreads out of his face. Frank nodded, allowing his heavy lids to slip close.

 

Gerard carefully wiped the filth off of Frank's face, careful not to press too hard. Gerard felt as though one simple mistake would break his whole face. To be fair, he was really thin and weak. It didn't take long, until all of the blood and dirt went down the drain.

 

And wow. Let's just say that Frank looked a lot different without his dreads in his face, and his face actually clean. He almost looked like a different person actually, or as though Gerard was just now meeting him for the first time.

 

At that emotional moment between them, hope was still clear in his eyes, which seemed so different from the rest of his body. His body looked broken, defeated, and ready to give up on life. His eyes, however, contained more hope than Gerard had ever seen.

 

Gerard knew now that he couldn't let anything ever happen to Frank again. Whatever had happened to him, he didn't deserve. He didn't deserve anything else to happen, and Gerard was going to make sure of it. Not only was he doing this for Frank's sake, but for his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, things have been rough lately. Good news! I now share this fic with @schellenpanda !! We will be working very hard to try and post at least once a week! This chapter features some of a song she wrote herself! She is very talented and I am very excited to get to work with her on this! Stay tuned for more! -xoBullet


	6. Chapter 5

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After looking at each other for what felt like forever without saying anything Frank started to shiver. Gerard had shut the water off, so Frank's fragile and uncovered body was exposed to the cold air inside of the small bathroom. He averted his eyes shyly and felt a slight blush covering his cheeks after realising how long he had stared at the beautiful man in front of him.

 

"Uhm... I'm sorry, but it's rather cold here. Could you help me dress myself again?" Frank asked quietly. He didn't see Gerard's matching blush after he, too, noticed his own staring.

 

Then Gerard remembered something. He looked at Frank nervously, before answering, "I... well. I don't think you should wear your old clothes anymore. I-it's just that they are pretty damaged and dirty and...". Taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts and stop rambling, he continued: "I called my brother and he should be here with a few of my old clothes any minute so..."

 

At that exact same moment they heard the door in the other room open and Gerard instantly recognised the short, but confident steps echoing through the house, before the sound of Mikey's voice filled the room.

 

"Gee? You in there? I swear to God, if this guy killed you I'm going to-". Gerard had darted to the door and ripped it open before anything terrible and impolite could have left his brother's mouth. He looked at his family member in disapproval and slightly embarrassed.

 

The male didn’t want Frank to think badly of him or his brother. The thought the other man would decline his help, if Mikey accused him of crimes he didn’t commit, scared him. Frank was harmless, it would be way easier to hurt him instead, but Gerard couldn't blame his brother.

 

Even though he had tried to convince Mikey that the stranger he had found dying on a simple park bench wouldn't just suddenly stab him to death, his brother had been as furious as he had been worried.

 

He had every right to be though, because Gerard held a record in getting stupid ideas that would get him into trouble, and his little brother had always been the one to come to his rescue.

 

So instead of being angry at him, he quietly grabbed the bag, which most likely contained a few of his clothes, from Mikey.

 

"I know that the situation must be very difficult to understand but I really need you to stay calm and trust me with this. I promise nothing will happen to me. I... I just need to help him getting dressed and tuck him into bed. We can talk after that. Please... You have to trust me Mikey!" Gerard begged his younger brother.

 

Even though he still looked conflicted and very unsure Mikey complied and sat down on the chair directly beside the bathroom before taking out his mobile phone and typing away on it.

 

Gerard thanked him, knowing that his brother had chosen this seat so he could still save him fast enough if needed, and closed the door again before slowly turning around and glancing at Frank with wide and scared eyes. Frank just gave him a tiny smile.

 

"It's okay... Your brother is just worried. T-that's something good. He cares about you.", he stated simply.

 

Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, Gerard smiled back at the small man and started to remove the clothes from the bag. They would probably be too large for Frank, but at least they were clean and comfortable.

 

He helped the shivering man out of the bathtub before grabbing another towel and looking at him, silently asking for permission.

 

After Frank had simply nodded he began to dry him off carefully, because he did not want to hurt the shivering male, but he also wanted to hurry so the man wouldn’t have to be cold any longer than necessary.

 

He helped him dress, using the same method as before, to put on Frank's pants and took a step back to check if the clothes fit him well enough.

 

Just like Gerard had expected they were too large for Frank, who looked like he was drowning in Gerard's sweatpants and one of his Iron Maiden shirts. To put it simply, Frank was adorable.

 

Even though his weight was one of the reasons why the clothes didn't quite fit him, Frank was okay with it. He felt safe in the other man's clothes and he could faintly smell cigarettes and cherries on them.

 

Frank disliked drugs and wouldn't spend his money on cigarettes but whenever he found an old, forgotten, half full cigarette box somewhere he would smoke a few, liking how they calmed him at least for a little while. 

 

He would never give in to the desire to buy them though, but even the smell was calming, so it was no surprise the Iron Maiden shirt made him feel the same way. The cause of the faint cherry scent was probably Gerard’s laundry detergent.

 

"I hope you're okay with wearing this for now. I know they don't fit completely but they should do the job until we can get you a new change of clothes," Gerard mumbled, trying to read Frank's reaction.

 

Fortunately, the fragile man's mouth split into a huge smile. "Are you kidding? Of course, I'm okay with them! More than okay actually! I... I haven't been able to wear clean clothes in a long time. No, scratch that! Clothes that weren't shredded and nearly falling apart is more accurate... This... This is amazing."

 

While talking the smile had slowly slipped from Frank's face until a few tears had managed to free themselves from his eyes.

 

Gerard was alarmed in a second and already opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but was interrupted by Frank's whisper.

 

"Thank you Gerard... Really, thank you so much! Not only for the clothes, but for everything you've already done for me. I probably can't pay you back for it, but you're still helping me... I don't know how to properly thank you. There- there's no way for me to do that!"

 

He was sobbing by the end of his little speech and Gerard had always been bad with comforting people. Mikey had been the only person who he had successfully comforted so far.

 

So even though he didn't know how Frank would react, he silently brought his arms around his smaller form in a hug. After a few tense seconds he could feel Frank's bony arms wrap around his body, hugging him back and the tiny man's fingers clutching onto his black shirt.

 

Gerard held him in his arms, repeatedly petting his back and murmuring encouraging words into his ears until Frank's sobs subsided and his tears stopped staining Gerard's now damp t-shirt.

 

After a few more seconds, they slowly let go of each other and Gerard gave him a crooked smile. He didn't need to tell Frank that it was fine and that he didn't need to pay him back in any way, because he had understood that even without words.

 

"Let's go get you to bed so you can rest some more until the doctor comes by, shall we?", Gerard spoke quietly and Frank nodded while grabbing the other man's outstretched arm for support.

 

Together they started their way back to the hospital room and to Mikey, who was still waiting outside, worrying about his older brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! First of all... I hope you enjoyed this new chapter and aren't too confused because the writing style is a bit different from what you've read before! That's right! This is the first chapter written by me (@Schellenpanda)!  
> I'm really happy to have the opportunity to write this fanfiction together with @BulletParade and I feel very honored that she asked me to help her with it!  
> We're already working on the next few chapters and have a bunch of interesting ideas that you're hopefully going to enjoy as much as we do!  
> Anyway.. I hope you're also looking forward to our, hopefully, weekly updates and won't be too confused by the different writing styles!  
> -xoChelly
> 
> P.S.: Chelly is my nickname, so feel free to use it!


	7. Chapter 6

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As soon as they walked into the room, Mikey emerged from his place beside the bathroom door and looked Gerard over as if to check that he wasn't hurt, before shifting his gaze to Frank.

 

The older brother could literally see the moment Mikey noticed how fragile and weak Frank really was, while silent understanding for the Gerard's actions flooded his features. He even nodded at Gerard a little, which, in Mikey's own body language, meant an apology. 

 

Just wanting to introduce himself, the younger brother held up his hand in Frank's direction, making him flinch and step back a little immediately. Letting his arm fall back against his side again, Mikey lifted an eyebrow in question and sighed.

 

"Hey there, I'm Michael, Gerard's younger brother. Just thought I should introduce myself. Wasn't plannin' on hurting ya or somethin', you know?", he stated simply.

 

"I-I'm Frank...", came the short answer from the petit male, who was now hiding a bit behind his savior.

 

He couldn't explain it, but while he wasn't even able to look at Mikey, he felt completely safe with the other brother, and even seemed to seek his protection. 

 

Frank had also heard the other man's words and didn't want to trust him completely, even though he understood why Mikey was so protective towards his beautiful brother. Who wouldn't want to protect the beautiful man?

 

Sensing the awkward tension between the two of them, Gerard tugged at Frank's arm and guided him towards the bed. He could only imagine how much pain Frank had to endure and he was starting to worry again, seeing how he was wobbling a bit.

 

Gladly taking Gerard's help, Frank started returning back to the bed, but still avoided looking at Mikey and even tried not to get near him. 

 

It would probably take him some time to be comfortable around the young man and he was way too tired to even try dealing with it at the moment.

 

After tugging Frank into the hospital bed, Gerard took a step back, eyeing the IVs, which needed to be stuck into the fragile man's skin again. He started to visibly shiver at the thought and took a few more frightened steps backwards until he collided with Mikey's chest.

 

It was just too much. He was starting to panic and he couldn't even avert his eyes, staring at the small needles. Gerard noticed his legs giving in, Mikey luckily catching him before he could hit the ground. 

 

He couldn't move, couldn't breath. Didn't even notice Frank worriedly saying his name and Mikey's scared voice, demanding the male sitting on the bed to call a doctor.  
Frank was terrified. One second ago Gerard had been perfectly fine but now he was pale, resembling the white sheets that were draped over his thin body. 

 

He had complied right after Mikey had asked him to call for a doctor, just using the button, made to alarm the nurses if something wasn't right.

 

From his place all he could do was watch a few nurses rushing into the room, instantly noticing the two brothers, the older one laying on the floor, after Mikey had put him down gently and started to hold up his legs. 

 

Together they were able to move him onto the spare bed in Frank's room, where one of them grabbed an IV, moving to stick it into Gerard's skin. 

 

Before Mikey could stop her, his older brother saw the little needle inside the nurse's hand and started to trash and scream, hitting the others while doing so.

 

It was horrible to watch Gerard act like this and he only understood the situation after Mikey had managed to wrap his arms around Gerard's thin body, pressing him against his chest, before speaking up loudly.

 

"He fears needles! He suffers from needle phobia! That's why he nearly lost consciousness in the first place!", the younger brother frantically explained.

 

Frank looked at the dark haired man in Mikey's arms, who had gone limp after the nurses had backed off and put away every object resembling a needle, in wonder.

 

"But he... He pulled the IVs off of my skin. He seemed totally fine then! Why didn't he freak out?", Frank asked with a puzzled expression on his face.

 

"I... Ugh... I was too focused on helping you t-to notice them. I didn't... realize that they were there in the first place", Gerard said in a hushed tone.

 

The younger brother nodded in understanding before helping Gerard out of the bed and dragging him outside.

 

"It's better if he's out of reach of needles for now.", he stated simply.  
The nurses just looked at the closing door for a second, before turning to Frank who just watched them blankly, shrugging a little. One of them stayed to hook him back up on the IVs again, before leaving the room too. 

 

Frank waited, asking himself when the brothers would return, if his beautiful savior would even be able to return. He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared of spending his time with only the younger brother alone and as far as he could tell Mikey wasn't too keen on spending his time with him either.

 

But as the door opened he caught a glimpse of black hair and pale skin first, before Mikey and a man, who definitely looked like a doctor, came into the room and stood beside his bed, Gerard not being able to look at his arms, which he quickly shoved under the blanket as best as he could. 

 

This earned him a little smile from the older man, before the doctor cleared his throat and both shifted their gaze to look at the small, redheaded man.

 

"You must be Frank. My name is Doctor Stumph, but you can also just call me Patrick!", he introduced himself cheerily and waited until everyone had nodded.

 

"Well then... I will need you to fill some forms since there are things missing that we need to know. But more important... Your condition! You have a few broken rips and are pretty bruised but you can already leave the hospital! Uhh.. well, okay. After staying for the night though, because we want to be completely sure that there's nothing else wrong with you. But you can leave tomorrow morning! We will prescribe you some medicine against the pain and you will have to rest much but you're good to go!", Patrick concluded with a smile on his face, which made Frank very glad since he wasn't very fond of hospitals, and Gerard didn't seem to like them much either. Then he saw the smile slip from the Doctor's face.

 

"I've heard that you were found in the park and I don't want to make you angry or anything because I'm just really worried but... You are homeless right? The thing is... We can't keep you here for too long but I also don't want you to go back to the streets in this condition, so...", he mumbled quickly.

 

"He's going to live with me. I already talked to him about it.", Gerard responded quietly.

 

"Awesome! That's awesome! Then there's nothing to worry about! I'll just give you the forms with the missing information and return later to collect them then!", Patrick exclaimed, his smile back on his face, before stuffing some papers and a pen into Gerard's hands enthusiastically and waving his goodbye, while leaving the room.

 

The three of them watched him go, before looking at each other awkwardly again. Mikey quickly excused himself, mumbling something about coffee, before also exiting the room, leaving Gerard and Frank alone.

 

"I... I'll add the missing information soon but... God, this is embarrassing. I... No, I can't do this... I... C-could you... Maybe, if it's okay... Stay the night? I-it's perfectly fine if you can't or don't want to, I-I would totally understand it, it's just that I'm scared a-and I feel safe around you and I know you dislike hospitals, b-but-", the short male rambled before Gerard interrupted him with a shy smile on his face.

 

"It's completely fine... Of course I'll stay with you. I would like to stay a-and I think I... I wouldn't like to be alone here, too, so... It's okay.", he answered softly.

 

Both of them smiled at each other until the door opened and Mikey looked at them with a confused expression, holding three coffee cups in his hands.

 

Frank jumped a bit upon hearing the older brother squeek happily and seeing him run to his lanky brother, making grabby hands for the coffee.

 

"You're seriously the best, Mikey Way! Best, best brother ever!", he sighed happily while cradling the warm cup in his hands and inhaling the scent.

 

The younger brother just smiled a bit before handing Frank the other cup, earning himself a quiet thanks from the short man. They drank the warm liquid quietly, Frank having begun to fill in the forms, until Gerard started to explain what he was planning to do this night.

 

Mikey nearly choked on his coffee, grabbing his brother's arm, dragging him outside and shutting the door loudly behind them. 

 

Frank tried not to listen, and focus more on the forms right in front of him, but he really couldn't. 

 

How should he be able to overhear the conversation the two brothers were having in front of his room? They were talking about him after all.

 

"He could be dangerous and you want to stay here with him all by yourself? It's stupid enough that you want to take him back home but now you also want to stay here with him? God, Gee! I don't know what to do with you anymore! I really don't... I-I can't look out for you all the time... I...", Frank could hear Mikey rant outside.

 

It was really quiet for a minute. Were they staring at each other? Were they hugging each other in support? Had they left? Had Mikey left? Or worse... Had Gerard left?

 

The short male was holding his breath. He didn't know what was happening, but he knew he was a huge burden for his savior, but he was also really scared that they would leave him alone, leaving him all by himself again, to fight for himself again.

 

Frank was starting to panic until he heard Gerard's voice again. He spoke very quietly but Frank could still make out his words.

 

"It's okay Mikes... Nothing will happen to me. He won't hurt me. It won't hurt me, I promise. I think... I really do think that this will help me. Me and him. Trust me Mikey... It makes me feel better. I'm good, I'm fine... I haven't felt like this for a long time and you know that. It's strange but... But I feel alive again. I want to feel like this forever so please... Please accept this and let me do this." Frank could hear his muffled voice through the closed door and even though he had no idea what Gerard was talking about, he was happy.

 

Of course he was curious about what the beautiful man had been talking about but he decided not to pry. It wasn't his place and it seemed to be very private anyway. Frank didn't want to upset Gerard in any way, especially after he had done so much for him and wanted to continue helping him. 

 

Not long after the older brother had stopped talking, both of them entered the room again, seeing Frank smiling slightly to himself while putting the now filled out forms onto a table right beside him.

 

"I guess I should drive to Gee's place. Grab him some things... Stuff so that he can continue working over here.", Mikey mumbled and grabbed his own things.

 

"That would be great. Thanks Mikes... For everything...", Gerard replied gratefully and watched his brother leave.

 

"Well... I guess I should tell Patrick that I'm going to stay here with you and give him your forms, huh?", he continued and smiled at Frank who smiled right back at him. 

 

Before he could leave the room though, said Doctor entered and grabbed the forms himself. 

 

"I met your brother on my way over here and he told me what you were planning to do already. It's fine! I even think that it's a good idea for you to stay here so Frank has some company! I let a nurse bring some sheets for the other bed later and let her check up on you. See ya later!" Patrick explained himself, before exiting the room again, seemingly in a hurry, since there were many other patients who probably required his help.

 

Seeing that the two men had nothing to do until Mikey returned, Gerard sat down onto a chair and looked at Frank. 

 

They should talk to each other, learn something about the other at least, so that the following weeks wouldn't be too awkward. 

 

That seemed like a good idea anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy late bday to Gerard!! Forty years old and still lookin great! He is a wonderful person, and has done a lot for millions of people. If you haven't, you should check out his work with Doom Patrol. If you already have, comment below what you thought about it! Another successful chapter with @SchellenPanda <3\. Again, so glad she could help me with this fic, and so happy you guys are enjoying it. She is a gnarly writer, and we make a great team. Stay tuned for more! 
> 
> -xoBullet <3


	8. Chapter 7

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"So, uhh... I guess we should get to know each other a bit, right? I just... It won't be so awkward then. When we're back at home. It shouldn't be awkward there, s-since you should feel safe and comfortable a-and. Well, uhm... That's what a home should feel like at least? Because y-you won't leave anytime soon! I... I hope you know that I don't want you or uhm... that you don't have to leave. Y-you're very welcome to stay, you know? And I... I'm rambling again, right...?", Gerard ended his little speech, blushing a bit and averting his eyes from Frank.

 

But he was right. They shouldn't feel weird around each other, when they were at home. It wouldn't feel right, so they should definitely overcome the weirdness and awkwardness right there.

 

But Frank didn't really know what a home should feel like, since he hadn't been able to live somewhere, where he was being treated in a good way, for a long time. His latest memories of a home weren't the best ones. Who was he kidding? They were horrible. 

 

He closed his eyes from embarrassment. When he opened them again, however, he wasn't at the hospital anymore. He was at the orphanage.

 

Older and bigger kids were surrounding his 15 year old self, looking down at him, their faces split into ugly grins, laughing and shoving him around a bit. They tugged at his long hair, ripping off a few strands and called him names. Girl, faggot, bitch. Whatever came into their minds.

 

Nobody was helping him and he could even see one of the women, who was working there, at a corner of the room, her grin matching the ones of his bullies. She seemed to enjoy how they were treating him, basking in the powerful feeling. 

 

Frank hated her, hated all of them for doing this to him. For making him feel like this. For making him doubt and hate himself. Even though he wanted to break free, scream at them and punch back, he couldn't. They were older and stronger than him and the workers would probably blame him for everything.

 

So he kept quiet, just letting out a few whimpers, until they had enough of punching him around, laughing at him and feeling superior. With a final push, Frank landed on his side, knocking his already bruised face against a table in the process, and making himself as small as possible afterwards. 

 

He couldn't move, could barely breath and the pain was unbearable. Everything hurt and he just felt miserable, wanted nothing more than to lay down and sleep for a few years until the world looked a bit better and brighter.

 

Frank closed his eyes, no longer able to stay conscious, but when he opened them again, the first thing he saw was a pair of striking hazel eyes, looking back at him with a worried expression. 

 

"Are you alright..? You were just staring at the wall and- should I call the doctor?", Gerard asked, his tone laced with concern. 

 

Frank blinked again and shook his head. He should really be more careful with tuning out, since he didn't want the male in front of him to worry. 

 

"No I, I just... remembered something. It's not important... I'm okay, don't worry.", the short man answered and tried to smile a bit. 

 

He didn't want to tell his savior too much about his past, but he also didn't want to lie to him or keep too many secrets. Frank owed Gerard an explanation or they would end up just like the other man had presumed and Gerard already looked even more worried and confused.

 

"It's just... You explained how a home should feel like earlier and well... God, this is embarrassing... I don't.. I haven't been able to live somewhere, that should feel like a home, in a long time. I can't exactly recall what it should feel like, so I just.. remembered an unpleasant time at a place that definitely wasn't comfortable and safe. I'm sorry if this sounds stupid. You can... You can laugh, you know? I know it's pathetic.", the hurt male explained and looked up again, after having lowered his head, while telling the black haired man the truth, expecting a mocking expression.

 

He was greeted with a sorrowful and furious, but still somehow determined looking Gerard instead. It was clear, that the other man didn't approve of the people who made Frank's life a living hell and that he wanted to help him as best as he could. The short male couldn't help but smile a bit. It felt good to finally have someone who seemed to really care for him, especially since that special someone was basically a stranger. Right, they really should start to get to know each other.

 

"Hey, so.. you're right. Let's get to know each other a bit. How... How about asking a question and both of us answering it and taking turns?", Frank suggested quickly, before Gerard could change his mind.

 

The taller male smiled softly and agreed, before motioning for Frank to start with their little Q&A session, wanting to put him at ease and being curious as to what the short man would want to know about him first.

 

"Okay, uhm... What is... what is the most important thing in your life?", Frank asked the first question, since this was something he could answer easily and he hoped the kind man sitting beside his bed wouldn't suggest money or something stupid like that.

 

"My brother Mikey.", Gerard replied immediately, not missing a beat.

 

Frank's smile only grew. He was right, Gerard wasn't only beautiful, no, he was the kindest and most considerate person he had ever met.

 

"For me, it's music. It never fails to make me feel better", he responded to his own question, making the other male smile in return.

 

"I guess I know what you mean... Well, uhh, these are basically two questions but it's easy to answer them so... What's your surname and how old are you?", the taller man popped the next question.

 

"Yeah... We should've probably asked these questions already. My name is Frank Anthony Iero Jr and I am 23 years old!", he laughed a bit while replying, since Gerard's eyes had widened in surprise after he had not only told him his surname, but his complete name instead. 

 

"That name is amazing! I-I'm Gerard Arthur Way, so uhm.. I also have more than just a surname. Haha.. I, uhh, I'm 27 years old...", the older male answered nervously.

 

Frank was obviously extremely confused about Gerard's sudden change of behavior but shrugged it off, thinking that maybe he didn't like his second name or thought he was too old or something. He just didn't want to pry. 

 

What he didn't know though, was that Gerard had noticed that he had heard Frank's last name somewhere before. He just couldn't remember when and it made him freak out a bit. He tried to act casual and shove his confusion to the last part of his brain, but the thought that the context, in which he had heard the name before, wasn't a good one, made him shiver.

 

He forced a smile to show that they could continue their little game though. Gerard still wanted to help Frank and he liked him, so he sure as hell wouldn't let an uneasy feeling destroy the comfortable and good mood they had gained already.

 

"Good to know! Well.. is there something you really like or dislike?", Frank decided to ask some basic questions to make his savior feel at ease again.

 

"I really like coffee! And comics I guess, as well as horror movies, music and art. I dislike meat, since I'm a vegetarian, and needles! Okay, nope! I don't even want to think about those anymore.", Gerard answered honestly, naming the first few things that came into his mind and paled a bit at the end, but started to smile again, so Frank wasn't too worried about his condition.

 

"Interesting! Well I'm more of a tea loving guy, but I still like coffee. However I totally agree with the comic, horror movies, music and art part. I'm a vegetarian too, even though I have to admit that I ate meat when it was all I could get, but I didn't really have much of a choice, did I? I'm also lactose intolerant. I hate feeling dirty, so you can't imagine how thankful I am for your help earlier!", Frank responded, happy that Gerard didn't seem so troubled anymore.

 

The beautiful man opened his mouth as if to ask another question, but was interrupted by the opening door. He closed his mouth again and turned around on his chair to look at the intruder, who hadn't even knocked before entering. 

 

If he was honest he wouldn't even have had to turn around to know that it could only be his brother, since Mikey never knocked when it came to Gerard. He always felt like he had the privilege to just burst into every room, his brother was currently in and the older male couldn't really blame him for that. He also didn't really want to. It was just the way it was and would probably never change.

 

Mikey looked at the two men for a few seconds before he entered the room completely, closing the door behind him and putting a bag, containing a few things, down onto a table.

 

"I hope that's everything you'll need Gee, but if you need anything else just call me, alright? I'll be here in a few minutes. So... What are you guys doing?", the younger brother demanded to know, pulling a chair beside his brother and sitting down on it, looking at both of them expectedly.

 

"J-just asking some questions to get to know each other so it won't be too awkward when we're back at home, you know..?", Gerard explained so Frank wouldn't have to.

 

He knew that the short male was still pretty uncomfortable around his brother and he didn't want to make him feel pressured. This even earned him a quick smile from Frank. Gerard really liked it when Frank smiled. It usually made his whole face light up and it even made the older man smile back, which had become a rare occasion.

 

Catching his brother's answering smile, Mikey refrained from urging Gerard to give him more information on that matter. Of course he was wondering about the fact that Gerard hadn't truly smiled in a long time, no matter how hard he had tried to cheer his brother up, but was able to show a real smile now, just because he was talking to a stranger. 

 

It didn't make sense to Mikey, but it also didn't need to as long as his precious brother was feeling better again. He was still wary about the young man who would be living together with Gerard soon, but he wouldn't destroy his brother's happiness, even though he would still keep an eye on Frank, as well as on his brother.

 

"Alright.. I just wanted to check up on you two and bring over Gerard's stuff for work. I still have to meet some people for my own job today though, so I will leave you alone again. I bought some Chinese takeout food, too, since I figured the hospital food would suck. It's all vegetarian. I hope you don't mind, Frank?", Mikey remarked, while standing up again and hugging his older brother briefly, choosing not so say anything about how he could feel his bones clearly, even though he was worrying himself sick.

 

Frank shook his head and smiled at the lanky male, muttering a quick thanks, before Gerard repeated him and they watched Mikey leave the room again.

 

Gerard stood up and went over to the table, grabbing the still warm takeout boxes and dishes, his brother had thankfully added. He placed one of the boxes and a part of the dishes on the little table that was installed on the hospital bed, before he sat down with his own part of the food.

 

Both men hadn't really eaten in a long while and were pretty exhausted so they dug into their food, without really feeling the need to hold their conversation any longer at the moment.

 

While Frank swallowed bit after bit, not caring about how ridiculous or pathetic he looked at that moment, it had been way too long after all, since he had been able to actually eat something warm or something that wasn't just leftovers, Gerard mostly pushed his food around, only taking a few small bites.

 

He could understand that Frank was hungry and clearly needed to eat, but he himself really shouldn't eat so much. Gerard didn't want the other man to think that he was fat, even though he clearly was. Mikey must be lying about his weight to make him feel better. There wasn't another explanation for it.

 

Seeing that the hurt male had already nearly finished his meal and certainly needed to eat more, Gerard quietly tried to hand over his food. He wouldn't eat any more of it anyway.

 

"You.. you barely ate anything. Do you really want me to have it..? I can eat some of the hospital food later. It really isn't a problem!", the younger man questioned after noticing that his savior was trying to give him his food.

 

Frank glanced at Gerard's body and swallowed after observing how thin the gorgeous man was. He obviously needed to eat more and Frank didn't want him to just give away his meal because he thought that he needed it more, because he had lived on the streets for so long or something like that.

 

"No I.. I already ate something while you were sleeping today. It was more than enough. Trust me, you can have it. If I get hungry later I can also eat some of the hospital food, can't I?", Gerard lied, hoping the other man would believe him and not ask any more questions.

 

Of course the older male hadn't eaten anything during that time, but he was on a strict diet and had to convince Frank, to get him to take the rest of his food. The black haired man didn't really plan on eating anything else later either. Hopefully the short male wouldn't notice and just accept his explanation and forget about the whole incident altogether. 

 

Frank just nodded and grabbed Gerard's meal, even though he still had his doubts, but who was he to demand answers about something the older man clearly didn't want to talk about. The hurt male had questions, but they would have to wait until they knew each other better and longer. He knew not to push his luck. He should be glad about the help that Gerard was offering him and not doubt his decisions, so he quietly ate everything.

 

In the meanwhile the taller man had stood up and started to look through the the bag, that Mikey had brought over, again. With a short humming noise he produced various pencils and a folder, which seemed to be stuffed with papers, from the bag.

 

While he spread his drawing utensils out over the table, which was right beside Frank's bed, a nurse came in and, without saying anything, put clean sheets on the other bed and handed Frank a few pills, which he swallowed down with a few sips from a glass filled with water, before leaving the room again.

 

From his place on the bed the short male could watch what his beautiful savior was doing perfectly well and he was impressed. This far Gerard hadn't started drawing anything, but Frank could already see a few panels.

 

"You do comics! Your job is drawing comics! Oh my God... This is so amazing! They look intensely good!", the young man admired the art he could see, causing the other male to blush.

 

"Th-Thanks Frank.. b-but- the comic isn't really mine and I'm just copying some stuff for them or drawing some rough s-sketches like... like the ones you are looking at right now a-and my work isn't exactly important. R-really... My.. my sketches aren't even that good.", Gerard mumbled self-consciously, barely able to look at the fragile man, who was making grabby hands at the sketches decorating the table.

 

He handed them over carefully and watched Frank adoring them, holding them as if they were some kind of treasure. He was really nervous, since he only showed Mikey his sketches usually, but he couldn't help himself. Somehow he trusted Frank, even though they had only known each other for around a day. Besides, he really seemed to be fond of his drawings.

 

"Are you kidding? These are extremely rad! You should totally get your own comic series! This way I could be your number one and biggest fan! Well.. beside your brother of course.", Frank exclaimed excitedly.

 

He continued fancying the art in his hands, while Gerard's face had split into a big grin. People rarely cherished his drawings, usually just acting like all the work and passion he poured into his art were nothing and worth nothing. The older male laughed lightly when he heard Frank yawning a bit, which earned him a sheepish grin from the young man, who handed him the sketches, he had just adored, as carefully as Gerard had done it.

 

"I guess you should go to sleep. It's pretty late already and uhh.. you must be very exhausted. The medicine they gave you earlier is probably also making you even more tired. How about I draw, while you watch me until you fall asleep? How does that sound to you?", the older man asked kindly.

 

Frank nodded happily and positioned himself in a more comfortable way, so he could fall asleep easily, while still being able to watch Gerard working on the comic panels. He sighed contently, while seeing the beautiful man at the table working, until his eyes slipped close from exhaustion and the medication he took earlier.

 

When he opened them again, however, he wasn't at the hospital anymore. He was back at the orphanage and he was 14 years old. It was pitch-dark around him and the only sound he could hear was a dog, barking somewhere in the distance. No, wait. There was something else. Footsteps and a scratching noise. It sounded as if someone was carrying something around, dragging it over the floor behind them.

 

It must be around 3am, so who in their right mind would drag something over the floor at this hour? Then it hit him. Frank had heard a few children talk about some psychopath, who had escaped the local asylum and who had apparently killed some people, before being admitted to the psychiatry. 

 

He started to shiver. It couldn't be the crazy man, right? On the other hand, who else could it be? Frank stood up slowly, starting to move towards the door quietly, since he wanted to lock it. While concentrating on being as quiet as possible, he hadn't realized that the noises had stopped right in front of his door, so when he reached out his hand to turn the key, the door burst open all of a sudden and two boys, who also lived at the orphanage, tilted a bucket, filled with dirty water and garbage, over his head.

 

All Frank could do, while watching the two boys flee, was to stop himself from crying. Several doors had opened up, revealing some of the other children, who were laughing at him and pointing their small bony fingers at him. 

 

But apparently this wasn't enough, as one of the workers appeared and screamed at him, demanding to know why he had decided to dump a bucket full of trash over his head and to get the floor dirty in the process, furthermore making him promise to clean up the mess all on his own and to clean the bathroom floors every single day for the next week.

 

He closed his eyes in shame, tears nearly starting to spill, but when Frank opened them again, he was 22 years old and back on the streets. 

 

Frank was standing up from the cold ground, because he had heard a rustle somewhere around him. Eyeing his small bag, which held the last half of a sandwich, he had wanted to save for later, a small amount of money and a shredded paper, as well as a pencil, which was barely bigger than his thumb, he tried to quickly grab it, but wasn't fast enough.

 

He saw a hand taking his bag and tried to get it back, but it was pointless. The man who had stolen his precious belongings suddenly held a gun in the other hand, pointing it shakingly towards Frank's head.

 

"D-Don't you dare come closer! I-I will.. I will kill ya!", the homeless man screamed, his voice shaking even more than his fingers, which were holding the gun, and Frank hold up his hands, eyes widening in fear.

 

"I.. I won't try to take it back just.. please, please... T-there's a pencil and a sheet of paper in there. C-could you please just give.. give me those..?", Frank's voice sounded calmer than he felt and he was still trying hard not to shake too much because he didn't want the man to think that he was trying to move towards him.

 

Nodding at Frank, the man put the bag down at his feet and started to dig for Frank's requested items, while still holding the gun. As soon as he had found what he had been looking for, he threw it down in front of Frank, grabbing the bag again and running away as fast as he could, without looking back once.

 

Frank sunk down onto his knees. This guy had nearly killed him, he could've done it if he had wanted to and if Frank hadn't been this careful. He would've bled to death right here without anyone ever finding out or caring about it. Nobody would've missed him. It wouldn't have mattered. His death wouldn't have mattered. Exhaustion took over and his eyes slipped close, despite his best efforts to stay awake and find a better place to hide from other homeless people, who would kill to get what they want.

 

"Frank! Hey.. hey Frank! Can you hear me? Frank!", Frank startled awake after he heard Gerard's worried voice and felt gentle hands shake him a bit.

 

He looked at the other man, wondering why everything looked so blurry, until he noticed his tearfilled eyes and ragged breathing. The short male was shaking like a leaf and his sobs made his whole body seem even more fragile than it already was. Frank knew that he was hyperventilating but he couldn't stop the terror that was slowly making him go crazy.

 

Suddenly he felt two thin, but strong arms sneak around his waist, holding him close to a warm body. Gerard was whispering encouraging and comforting words into his ear, while petting over his back and hair.

 

Instead of pulling back, like he would've normally done, he hugged the tall man back, crying into his shoulder, while not being able to say a single word.

 

Frank had barely been able to sleep much, without having to fear that something would happen, in the past and it was all coming back to him, when he finally could. He was terrified, mortified even, but he was also extremely glad for the angel, someone had sent to watch over him, which was currently helping him to calm down, instead of laughing at him or threatening him.

 

The fragile male was safe. For once in a really long time he actually realized that there were still people who cared and who wouldn't make his life a living hell. Frank was glad that he didn't have to face his horrors alone anymore. That Gerard was there for him and wouldn't just kick him out. That he finally found a place he could call home, even though it was less a building, but more a person. He had found Gerard. No, actually Gerard had found him and oddly enough, Frank had to thank the man who had brutally kicked and hit him before, since he wouldn't be here if that hadn't happened. 

 

So despite still being scared and feeling sick because of his memories, Frank managed to calm down enough to stop crying and shaking and he was even able to breath properly again. Gerard still hugged him close though, refusing to leave Frank alone, when he desperately needed someone to comfort him.

 

"We can talk about it tomorrow if you want... We.. we don't have to though. Try to sleep some more. I'll be here. You're not alone, don't worry Frank.", Gerard whispered softly and the man in his arms nodded.

 

Frank didn't know if he would be able to talk about it, but he knew that Gerard would keep him safe, so he promised himself to protect the older man as best as he could, too and be there for him whenever he needed it.

 

The last thing he heard, before falling into an undisturbed and dreamless sleep, was Gerard's lovely voice, singing the same song, he had sung earlier in the bathroom and his mother had sung all those years ago. Frank fell asleep in Gerard's arms, a small smile decorating his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm extremely sorry that you had to wait so long for the new chapter, but school and personal life were stealing my time again. To make up for all the lost time we decided to write a longer chapter and here it is!  
> I really hope you like it and there aren't too many mistakes. I tried to correct it as best as I could, but if you still find any mistakes or whatever, please tell me!  
> Anyway.. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and stay tuned for more! I basically wrote the last few chapters and still hope our writing styles aren't too different from each other, but Bullet is going to take over during the next one again!  
> Thanks for all the kudos, bookmarks and comments, guys! They mean a lot! See ya in the comments!
> 
> xo Chelly


	9. I'm dissapointing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry

Okay, so here's an update. I'm so very sorry that I haven't updated this work for a very long time. I have no excuse. I started this fic to give me something productive to do and get my mind off of things. This sort of gave me a purpose. I guess I haven't posted because I've given up doing a lot of things, and I can't help but regret every decision I make. It doesn't help that my grandma decided to get off of dialysis and died last week. I think that's one of the hardest things I've had to go through. I guess I just didn't feel like doing anything. I'm going to try and continue this, not only for the readers (if there are any left), but for myself. And in a way, for my grandma. I haven't had contact with Schellenpanda for a while, but I'm sure she'd agree that we started this, and we need to finish it. Stay posted, I am now working on the next chapter. Thank you for being patient with us, it means a lot to both of us. Love you guys so very much.   
-xoBullet


	10. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of something new...

Frank groaned as he woke up, trying to stretch his arms, but was blocked by the feeling of something warm. Something alive. Frank immediately screeched, falling out of the bed, his eyes wide with fear, and his breathing quickened. 

 

When he looked up, he was met with a wide eyed mop of black hair, who was also staring back at him with a startled look. Realization started flooding back into his head, and Frank couldn’t help but start to giggle as he looked at Gerard’s scared expression. 

 

Gerard had a puzzled look on his face before he couldn’t help joining in on the giggles. It felt good to Frank. It made him realize just how long it had been since he’s laughed. Even experienced the feeling of something funny.

 

After they recovered themselves, they both sort of came under a realization, and retreated back into their normal shy selves. 

 

“Sorry about that…” Frank started, looking down with a blush on his cheeks.

 

“T-that’s okay Frank. It- um it actually felt good to um.. I don’t know. To…”

 

“To laugh again,” Frank finished, meeting Gerard’s eyes, and quickly looking away again.

 

“Y-yeah. Exactly,” Gerard replied, scratching his head from the awkward silence that lingered in the air. He stood up from the hospital bed, extending his hand out to help Frank up. Frank smiled to himself from remembrance, and accepted the hand. 

 

Gerard easily pulled Frank up. Maybe a little too easily, because when he yanked him up, he stumbled a little closer to Gerard than intended. Frank looked into his eyes for a moment, and Gerard looked into his. They didn’t even look away, just stood there, both of them to shy and anxious to do anything else. And then the doctor walked in, and they sprung apart like they were committing some kind of sin.

 

“Ah, good morning gentlemen, sorry to disturb you. I just came to inform Mr. Frank here that you are free to leave today. Just take it easy and rest, make sure to drink plenty of liquids and eat a lot and you should recover in no time,” the doctor informed, while flipping through the papers hooked to his clipboard. 

 

“O-okay. Thank you so much doctor.” 

 

“Oh just call me Patrick. And you’re quite welcome, come back anytime Frank,” The doctor smiled, walking out of the room with a small wave. Frank let go a sigh of relief once the doctor left. Sure, the hospital beat the streets, but he was glad that he finally got to leave.

 

“I-is there uh, anything that you need to grab before we go back to m-my place?” Gerard asked scratching his arm and looking around the room for nothing in particular. 

 

“Um, no, I don’t really have anything,” Frank replied, standing there with his arms awkwardly at his sides.

 

“O-oh shit, I’m so sorry! I s-shouldn’t have even asked that…” Gerard answered, mentally slapping himself on the forehead. Frank was homeless it’s not like he has a ton of stuff to take with him.

 

“No, that’s okay, don’t worry about it Gee, it’s fine,” Frank replied with a small smile, surprised at his newfound courage to call him a nickname. Gerard wasn’t complaining though, he just blushed and nodded, slowly walking out of the door with Frank behind him. 

 

The drive to Gerard’s was long and awkward, and Frank’s nerves were starting to kick in again. Seeing the outside world was sort of a reminder of who he was. That he was going to someone’s house, and taking up someone’s time and space. He felt like a burden. He felt like he’d be better off out there ruining his own life, rather than ruining Gerard’s. 

 

But it was too late now. They had pulled in the driveway, and Gerard had shut off the car, opening his car door and getting out. He went over to Frank’s door rather quickly before Frank could let himself out, and opened the door for him, not meeting the shorter man’s eyes.

 

They both stepped up the driveway, walking up to Gerard’s front door, Gerard quietly humming a tune that Frank thought was from a Misfits song that he used to play all the time on his guitar. Frank shivered at the thought that he would now be seeing Gerard for a lot longer than he anticipated. And he couldn’t help but fall in love with the idea of seeing Gerard more. 

 

He didn’t want to feel like that. Didn’t want to get attached to Gerard, when he was probably just a burden, and nothing more than a temporary guest to Gerard. But he knew it was too late. Every second that he was closer to the man, he knew that he was done for. He was falling, and he was falling hard.

 

Gerard finally unlocked the door, and kicked it open, smiling back at Frank to let him go in first. Frank took in a deep breath and walked in the door that could hold the greatest outcome...or his greatest downfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is a shorter chapter, but I thought for my coming back I would start with something smaller. Thank you for the people that are still here...It means so much to me and @Schellenpanda . Love you guys.  
> -xoBullet


	11. Chapter 9

Gerard stepped into the house after Frank and closed the door quietly. He didn't know what to say and simply waited for the smaller man to speak up. His house was pretty big for one person but still not too wealthy. He could afford it since his job was decent, not as good as Mikey's but it kept him out of debt really well. The young artist hadn't even decorated most of it this much, just a couple of photographs of his brother and him and some paintings he had done himself were lining the walls in the majority of the rooms.

 

Looking at everything with big eyes Frank took in how dark the hallway seemed to be, building a stark contrast to the hospital rooms. The furniture was made of dark brown wood and the photographs, even though they spoke of happy times, looked rather pathetic and weird in their surroundings, like they didn't belong at all. Even the walls with their dark gray looked depressing at best. But while it all seemed so peculiar and mismatched he liked it in a way. Frank had always paid special attention to his surroundings, even at the orphanage he had analyzed what the decor could tell him about the person who lived there or had been in charge of what the room should look like. 

 

This room told him what he had already suspected. Gerard was not okay, something was definitely wrong and he was too comfortable with it, probably too scared to face and change it unlike Frank who had at least tried to get out of his miserable situation. If Frank could have his own apartment one day, he would make sure to try and make it look colorful or at least bright. 

 

He still felt strangely at home in the dark corridor and smiled slightly. It seemed lived in and comfy in a bizarre way. Turning around to Gerard who was still waiting, he showed him his shy smile “It seems a bit dark but still very comfortable. I like it so far.”

 

Gerard exhaled, relieved that Frank was okay with the small part he had seen already. Now he couldn't hold back his own smile anymore and went ahead into the living room, knowing that his new roommate would follow. 

 

This room was much brighter than the one before but instead of erasing Frank's previous analysis of Gerard's character it only deepened it. The living room was a bit too bright, too clean, too perfect. It didn't seem quite real and rather looked like Gerard had desperately tried to bring some normalcy in, had wanted everyone to think that he got his life together. The small male realized Gerard frantically tried to hide his inner feelings behind the perfect surroundings but he couldn't fool someone like Frank who had spent half his life analyzing things like these, ever since his mother had told him about the perks of people who they had visited when he was just old enough to understand. She had been the one to show him how to find out more about others by considering the way they dressed, behaved and decorated the place they felt most safe in. 

 

Frank smiled at Gerard again and complimented him on this room as well, not letting on anything about his secret analysis of the older man's personality. It was only fitting that Frank's stomach rumbled right before they were about to take a look at the kitchen and a blush crept onto his face out of embarrassment.

 

When Gerard laughed about the sound Frank knew it wasn't because he was making fun of him, so he took no offense and giggled lightly as well, feeling a bit more at ease again. He still had to tell himself that the reason his blush increased a bit was because the kitchen was warmer than the living room though. It definitely wasn't because of the other male's hand on the small of his back which Gerard used to carefully guide him into the room. Frank mentally erased that possibility immediately.

 

Having expected another way too perfect room, Frank was pleasantly surprised to see colors on the walls, drawings to be more precisely. Gerard had created walls filled with all kinds of stories in his kitchen and even though nothing seemed to be connected to each other it didn't look chaotic. It was quite the opposite, everything having it's own charm but somehow working well together. Frank was struck in awe, staring at the art with wide eyes and a slightly opened mouth, unaware that Gerard was watching him. The older man was glad that Frank seemed to be so thrilled about what he had done to this room. It had taken him hours to do this and he barely ever had guests he could show it to or who would even appreciate it, so Frank was a welcomed change to his normal social life. Especially since he was actually proud of this particular room and loved showing it off whenever the possibility arose. 

 

Nodding to himself the taller man walked over to his fridge, opening it while secretly hoping that something would be inside. He didn't buy food that often anymore and couldn't quite remember when he had last done so but thankfully Gerard wouldn't have had to worry anyway, seeing that his angelic little brother had done grocery shopping for him, being the thoughtful and organized man that he was. Gerard made a mental note to thank him later and pointed at one of the chairs, which were standing beside a small table, startling Frank a little with his voice. “Sit down, please. I'm gonna cook something for us. It should be ready in an hour, so uhh, if you want to change your clothes or something like that before that, I asked Mikey to put some of my smallest on your bed. Uhm, your room is behind the third door on the right when you go into the corridor. Mine's behind the second door on the right and the bathroom is right beside the kitchen.” 

 

Frank nodded along and thanked Gerard quietly, taking him up on the offer, quietly leaving the room to change and maybe check out the bathroom as well. He wouldn't look into Gerard's room since he didn't want to invade his privacy too much. The older male had done so much for him already and he didn't want to make him angry in any way. 

 

While the kitchen had showed Gerard's passion and happiness, it was still weird to Frank that he had chosen that room for it. He would've expected his bedroom or even the living room to be filled with the other male's interests instead. The kitchen just seemed to be an odd choice, as if he had needed to make it pleasing for himself to go into. 

 

The room which had been left for Frank was immersed in warm colors, the sun shining through a big window and the walls painted in a light blue. The furniture was basic, just a closet, a single bed and a small table with a chair, as well as a wardrobe. Just a typical, simple and plain guest room that didn't really say anything at all about Gerard. It was more than Frank needed and currently had and he sat down carefully on the bed to process this. Everything was still a little surreal and he didn't think he would come to terms with this sudden change in his life anytime soon but that didn't stop the man from being grateful and content with these new arrangements. 

 

Taking another deep breath he stood up again and changed into new clothes, looking out of the window for a while afterwards, just enjoying the sunlight and finally feeling secure again after years of struggling. Frank was determined to make the best of what he had now, wanting to help Gerard around the house and get a job as soon as possible so he could somehow thank him for everything he had done for him. Smiling softly, he slowly took a step back from the window, already looking forward to having dinner with Gerard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> It's been a couple of months since the last update and that's honestly my fault. This was supposed to be my chapter all along and then lots of personal stuff happened, including starting at university! I had a whole lot of soul searching to do, got to learn more about myself (and got better mentally! Yay!) and what I want to do, while balancing different artistic projects (recording videos, drawing, writing etc.) and trying to figure out how to best deal with studying. I started a few other activities like meditating and yoga as well and even though my motivation for writing anything fanfiction related hadn't really disappeared, sometimes when you stop doing something for so long it get's hard to start again. So before I wrote this chapter I did a few private ff projects to slowly get into the flow and now I'm back! I hope I have improved some of my writing (style and all that) since I'm learning so many things now that I'm studying German Studies and English Language and Literature.  
> That being said I hope I can create more and include this fanfiction or writing in general even more into my routine. There may still be a lot of delays and I can't tell how often Bullet or me will be writing chapters but I can promise to at least try my best. Please excuse us for being so horribly inactive but that's just life, I suppose! At least we're not giving this up yet! This chapter may be short but I wanted to start slowly and not overwhelm myself immediately and I hope you still enjoyed it either way! Hopefully we'll see each other again soon with another chapter! Love you guys a lot for sticking with us! Thank you so, so much!  
> xoxo Chelly

**Author's Note:**

> Just a Warning: Posting may be slow at times due to school and just life itself. Stay watching, and stay tuned in for more! Thank you for the love and support <3
> 
> -xoBullet


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